Dear Supreme Alien Smith Naushy,
I hope you and the Colonel are faring well in your beautiful green terrain. I have been fine in my crunchy sand terrain although the last 6 lunar cycles have been a bit rough for me. In my personal and scientific observations, I have seen that the natives of this planet are unnecessarily savage to one another. I fear for their future.
Which brings me to the matter at hand: I have an urgent request for some fine armor to please be crafted as soon as you possibly can so I may wear it for protection when in the terrain of the Kartvelis.
The molecules of the armor should mostly be of the metal Pe (peace). I'm not sure of the other molecules as smithing is your craft, not mine.
There are no other requirements but if you need any more information, do let me know. Please prepare a prototype and display it here before you send it to me.
How have things been in the green terrain?
Warm Regards,
Supreme Alien Scientist Soni
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Dear Supreme Alien Scientist Soni,
ReplyDeleteGreetings from the lush green terrain! Colonel and I are holding fort amidst the flora and fauna, though we do miss the crunchiness of your sand terrain. The natives of Planet #C-137 continue to confound us with their perplexing antics—assholery, evilness, greediness, and an inexplicable urge to destroy everything in their path.
Regarding your urgent request for armor fashioned from the metal Pe (Peace), I shall forge it with utmost precision and care. Rest assured, my smithy skills are finely tuned, and I shall present you with a prototype that even the Kartvelis would marvel at. As for the other molecules, leave that to my metallurgical prowess—it will definitely meet your protective needs. Might I suggest some Lo (Love) for those "savage" encounters? And perhaps Co (Compassion)?. And I'll make sure to embed the unwavering spirit of Bu (Bushido) in its very core.
As for our green terrain, it’s a losing battle here. Fighting the locals can be exhausting and prompting us to retreat in our hidden fortress for recuperation. Though, the Anime medium is very enticing and I can't help losing my alienness to these specific Nippon Earthlings.
I eagerly await your feedback on the prototype. Until then, get ready for your cosmic travels.
Otherworldly regards and alien love,
Alien King Warrior (and Smith) Naushy
Dear Alien King Warriorsmith Naushy,
DeleteAh Planet #C-137, although it has vast beauty in its terrain and it's rations are delicious, analysis of your data on the natives has left not only us, but also the mothership bewildered as well.
I encourage you to stay the course, you and the Colonel are there for a short time only and you know the mothership sent the strongest of the strong to Planet # C-137. Please make full use of the fortress and anime medium for recovery.
I am working on a blueprint for the molecules of the prototype and will transmit it shortly. In the meantime, let me know if you require anything teleported from Planet #K-932.
Spacey Regards,
Supreme Alien Scientist Soni
Dear Supreme Alien Scientist Soni,
DeleteYes, the situation here is dire. Permission to re-route Meteor SA 7479 towards Earth?
Awaiting your blueprint with bated breath. Should you have any extraterrestrial delicacies or cosmic S24 Ultra contraptions from Planet #K-932 to share, do teleport them our way.
Sincerely Saturn,
Alien King Warrior (and Smith) Naushy
DEAR ALIEN KING WARRIOR (AND SMITH),
ReplyDeleteNEGATIVE NEGATIVE, PERMISSION TO RE ROUTE METEOR SA 7479 DENIED!! WE REALIZE YOU AND THE COLONEL ARE WEARY OF YOUR MISSION BUT YOU STILL HAVE MUCH WORK TO DO BEFORE YOU ARE BEAMED BACK UP!
ALSO THE MOTHERSHIP HAS DIFFERENT SUPERB DESIGNS FOR SAID PLANET!
CONTINUE YOUR MISSION WITH FORTITUDE AND PATIENCE AS YOU HAVE BEEN DOING. TRUST IN THE MOTHERSHIP.
YOURS IN ALARMED ASTEROIDS,
SUPREME ALIEN SCIENTIST SONI
Dear Supreme Alien Scientist Soni,
DeleteI trust you with my green heart, silver soul, and deathly hallows. However, I refuse to heed a single word from the mothership. She can go fuck her own rectal orifices.
From the depths of my alien soul,
Alien King Warrior (and Smith) Naushy